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DIFFICULTIES OF TRANSITION

12

Transitional age is the process of preparing a child for adulthood, only for some reason the parents of each child are waiting for this arrival with fear and apprehension. Parting with a carefree childhood, teenagers are trying to become independent, and parents want their children to remain under their “wing" for as long as possible, which is why conflicts mainly occur. 

 Psychologists consider the age of twelve to sixteen to be the most explosive and call it the "difficult age" for the whole family. 

 By what signs to understand that your child is becoming an adult and what mistakes to avoid in order to maintain his love and trust, we will consider together. 

Physiological changes

• a jump in height and weight causes a loss of coherence in movements, which results in low self-esteem, depression and shyness;

• headaches appear, the child often begins to complain of feeling unwell, mental performance decreases – this is evidence of a rapid growth of the heart and a lag in the development of blood vessels;

• skin changes: the appearance of pimples, blackheads, the smell of sweat cause adolescents severe irritation and aggression towards themselves and others;

• the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics (growth of breasts, pubic and axillary hair, menstruation); all this can cause a child to self-loathing, or vice versa, excessive pride and a desire to “boast”.

Changes in moral values

• the opinion of peers (friends or classmates) comes first in decision-making;

• the appearance of first love, which can become not only spiritual intimacy, but also move to the physical component;

• painful attitude to parental criticism and jokes in relation to the object of adoration or best friends.

DIFFICULTIES OF TRANSITION

How can I help you?

• advise the child, and perhaps go in for sports with him to restore the harmony of soul and body (girls and their mothers are recommended aerobics, fitness to make the figures slim, and boys and dads will not interfere with classes in the gym or gym to gain muscle mass or lose weight)

• periodically go through a medical examination with the child, so as not to miss the manifestations of the disease;

• buy hygiene products that your child would like (there are whole series for teenagers: these are deodorants, pads, creams, shampoos, shower or washing gels), perhaps they will be able to teach him to take care of himself and his body;

• now is the time to go to the dentist and orthodontist – healthy and beautiful teeth, as well as fresh breath, are very necessary for a child to assert himself;

• do not use punishments and do not overdo it with moralizing, let the child try to achieve recognition from peers;

• do not avoid talking about intimate relationships, because abortions and sexually transmitted diseases most often happen to unwarned children;

• learn not only to listen to your child, but also to hear him.

DIFFICULTIES OF TRANSITION

These are the elementary rules and tips that will help you and your child survive this so-called “difficult age”, because every person needs the love of loved ones, the confidence that they believe in him and will come to the rescue in any situation. 

You must understand the main thing: your child has grown, he is new and completely different! Therefore, be close to him so that he wants to be near you and learn to trust your child. Then even the most “difficult age” will become just a step on the way to adulthood, and your “child” will grow up to be a good and real Person.

 Love your children, and they will repay you the same!

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