FAMILY LIFE CRISES
Folk wisdom says, "to live life is not to cross a field." And even more so if it is family life. How not to lose interest in a joint journey through the slopes of life? After all, the road will not be smooth and strewn with flowers. There are several family life crises ahead. They cannot be avoided, but they can be prepared and successfully overcome.
The first symptoms of a family crisis.
Expect a crisis if family life proceeds without quarrels, or, conversely, quarrels follow one after another. His approach is evidenced by the situation in which the spouses do not try to understand each other, each acts in his own way, blames only the other side for everything. Avoidance of sex is a serious reason for a crisis situation. It is no less serious when one of the partners decides that only he is "the truth in all instances." Even if the spouses do not know how to talk, find common topics for discussion, constant silence or obsession with only one problem. If a woman sees nothing but a family and gradually becomes a "draft horse". Or, on the contrary, one of the family members sees nothing but his work.
Crisis of the first year.
Spouses were brought up in different families, with their own way of life and customs. Husband and wife are accustomed to getting up and waking up at different times. They have a different attitude to the order in the apartment, to saving money. And a lot of little things that require "lapping". The raid of romantic love passes, family life shows the real sides of the spouses, sometimes not very pleasant. But, if there is true love in the family, this crisis is not difficult to overcome.
Crisis of the first child.
The birth of a child changes the habitual way of the family. A woman gives all her care and affection to the baby. And the man is jealous, he lacks warmth, sometimes sex. Dissatisfied, irritated, he looks for new shortcomings in his wife. He is looking for warmth that he has not received in the family on the side, he may decide to commit treason. The wife is already exhausted by the incessant worries about the baby, and then there is the discontent of her husband. She suffers, is tormented by suspicions, arranges scandals.
To avoid this crisis, you need to be psychologically prepared for the responsibilities of a parent. Do not be jealous of your wife for the child, but give him your love and care, take on some of the care of the baby. A woman should not forget that in her family, in addition to a small child, there is also a big one. He also needs attention. This is easier to do when the spouses distribute responsibilities in advance, both in caring for the child and in housekeeping. Then family life will not be overshadowed by the birth of a baby, but will sparkle with new colors, a small miracle adored by both spouses will become an additional link.
other crisis periods.
A crisis can come when a well-established family life according to the “mom is at home with the baby, and dad works" scheme is replaced by a new relationship after the woman goes to work. A woman faces an impossible task to do everything: work, child, husband, household. Not only her husband, but also her closest relatives should help her in this.
Usually, after 7 years of marriage, the spouses are fed up with each other. To avoid monotony in family relationships and to keep your partner from looking for new sensations outside the family, look for something new and original. You can go to Sri Lanka or do yoga together.
The main and most dangerous crisis occurs when the spouses are 40-50 years old.
A woman has a menopause ahead – irritability, deterioration of well-being. A man is afraid of approaching old age and sexual passivity. The children have grown up and are no longer the threads that bind the spouses. But even this crisis can be overcome. You just need to really want this for both, to do everything together so that the family life lived together is not remembered as a heavy cross, but becomes the first brick to a quiet and happy old age.