HE HAS A LOVER: TO LEAVE OR STAY?

Like it or not, men are prone to cheating much more often than women. And what if you suddenly find out that your chosen one is cheating on you or is talking to a former mistress again? How to eradicate this evil and understand the cause?

After all, it’s one thing if this is the first time, but the second time is no longer just an accidental mistake, a fleeting hobby or an extra glass at a corporate party. This is clearly a deliberate and desired act. What should be done in this difficult situation? What decision to make and how to avoid deja vu?

The most basic thing you should do is take a deep breath and calm down. After all, panic will not help anyone. I want to cry – cry! Although this will not help your grief, it will remove the lump in your throat. And immediately, after restoring your breath and washing off the traces of the leaked carcass, ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you ready to fight for this man to the end?
• How strong are your feelings?
• Are you ready to forgive betrayal?
• Is this man worth your tears?
• Do you enjoy being humiliated?

And now you remembered all the existing advantages and disadvantages of your beloved. What to do: leave or stay?

Option one

You decide that you are ready to forgive him, love for him is reckless, you can close your eyes to everything that happened and move on in life with him. Now you need to understand who you are dealing with, who is your rival. First of all, it is very important to find out how serious everything is:

What does this relationship mean to your man? To do this, you need to understand how long their relationship lasts, how often they meet, what status this woman has – a constant lover , a former lover, or maybe he has several mistresses at the same time. This information will determine the degree of significance for him not only of a specific connection, but of betrayal as such.

It is very important to understand the very reason for the betrayal: why he did it (or is still doing it) and what he lacks at home. Just don’t try to lower your self-esteem. Look for an objective reason – that’s it. And to hammer yourself into a corner and hang the stigma "a la bad" hostess, lover or wife is not worth it. Self-flagellation in resolving such a deplorable situation will not help: it will only complicate the situation in the family. The reasons for liaising on the side or meeting with former lovers can be very different: his dissatisfaction with sexual desires, the desire for new, vivid and passionate sensations, a moment of intrigue, or the anticipation of being caught. Now, having identified the causes of infidelity, start working on their elimination: it’s time to work on yourself and bring fresh notes to your sex life.

· Try to collect information about his mistress: who she is, what she was looking for in connection with your sweetheart, how she dresses, how she could attract him and what are her weaknesses. Enemies need to know in person! But, in no case do not turn this whole unpleasant story into a cheap detective story. Don’t be humiliated.

Never push for pity. Do not manipulate children, health status, marriage ties and so on. This is for the weak. And in this situation, you must be stronger and wiser. Tantrums have not stopped a single man yet. On the contrary, it will be easier and easier for him to go where he will be hugged, caressed and will not demand anything.

· And yet, if you decide to forgive, you must understand that no matter how hard it is – in no case in the future do not remember insults, do not reproach and do not be ashamed. Forgiveness is your personal choice. Even if it hurts – shut up!

 

Option two

You decide that you are not ready to continue the relationship. You understand that the pain and bitterness of what happened will never fade away and will not be forgotten. Why deceive yourself? If he betrayed once, then at any opportunity he will repeat it again.

Remember, where one door closes, another opens. Perhaps this is your chance for a new life, a new love without betrayal and betrayal. And the fact that your man has taken a mistress or renewed a relationship with his ex is not a sentence, but most likely a diagnosis. The diagnosis of an egoist and a traitor. 

There are many worthy men in the world, and you are such a wise and beautiful one. Love and be loved!