How to break up with the man you love
Parting with a loved one is never without pain. This is one of the toughest tests. And, unfortunately, not every woman endures such a blow of fate with dignity. It’s so hard to contain your grief, confusion and emotions! In a stressful situation, you can do something that can later cause regret and shame. What is the right way to part with your love?
Breaking up with the man you love is the strongest blow, but it, nevertheless, is never unexpected. Usually, long before the breakup, there is a cooling in the relationship. A man becomes indifferent, behaves more rudely, comes less often or later, referring to eternal employment. There can be many such signs, and a woman usually feels them well. If you have good reason to suspect that you are about to be abandoned, you can accept and expect the inevitable, or you can gather your courage and put an end to the relationship first.
The second option is psychologically even better, because you will retain self-esteem and will not feel abandoned. In this case, be prepared for the fact that a man, on the contrary, will begin to look for some ways to establish relations with you again. He doesn’t want to feel like a loser either. And here everything depends only on you: either you accept his impulses, or you still do not deviate from the decision to leave. But remember that if a man’s feelings are actually burned out, and he no longer loves you as before, then it is unlikely that you will have a happy future with him.
Try to understand what exactly happened. Why are you being abandoned? There are usually not many main reasons – your man fell in love with another, you are not suitable for him, he is not ready and is afraid of a serious relationship, etc. You won’t get better once you understand why. But thinking will dull your emotions a little, keep you from falling into a deep pit of despair, and become the starting point for action. If you have fallen out of love, try to understand and forgive. If something is wrong in you, you need to take urgent measures so as not to face a similar situation in the future. Well, if the guy is just afraid of responsibility, then your separation is the best way out, because you hardly need such a partner.
Until now, you thought that your man is perfect in every way? Now is the time to critically reconsider our views. Reflect as much as possible on the shortcomings of your chosen one. You can take a sheet of paper and write on it all its pros and cons. Analyze what was written and understand that you were too mistaken about its merits.
You can part in different ways, but it is better not to leave any understatement. The best option is to find out the relationship and clearly understand for yourself that this is the end. Do not have the courage to meet and express everything that you think about him? Write and e-mail him a detailed letter. At the same time, you should not be rude and stoop to insults. Just calmly and with dignity express your complaints, thank you for the bright moments that you experienced together, and explain that you want to end the relationship.
If you decide to meet and talk face to face, choose a time when you are focused and calm. Tell about your feelings and experiences, about the negative aspects of your life together with him and do not try to reduce the conversation to nostalgic memories of how good you were together. In no case do not break loose and do not raise your voice, even if the man gets out of balance and says a lot of unnecessary things to you. But in this case, all the trump cards are in your hands, because you will retain your dignity and pride.
Make a note of the amount of time you allow yourself to despair and grieve, and once that time is up, take control of your feelings. Avoid dating your ex. Try to get rid of all gifts, photos and things that will remind you of the past.
Don’t lock yourself in. Connect more with other people. Find some interesting activities for yourself – sports, needlework, cinema, etc. If possible, go on a trip that you previously wanted to take. Enjoy the beauty of nature, the masterpieces of human hands and all the riches of the surrounding world.
Remember that time heals even the strongest wounds, and you will still meet the man who will really suit you and with whom you will be happy.
What if the purpose of the relationship is something unconditional for which both the man and the woman could take responsibility? What if this is… the practice of love? Love is what is within us; something for which we are responsible in both good and bad times. Love allows us to focus on our own efforts and responsibilities, as well as to notice the advantages of our partner. Too many people focus on taking something from the relationship. But, for a harmonious relationship, you need to give, take responsibility for your happiness, and then “invest" it in others.