HOW TO MARRY A MAN WITH CHILDREN?
A lot of people in our country have incomplete families. Marriage for any reason may not work out; or a person may remain a widow or widower at a young age. If
In the early stages of a relationship, start talking about the role you will play as a foster mother.
Thus, you minimize mutual insults, and everyone will know in advance what his role is. This does not mean that there will be no questions at all. No one can think everything through in advance.
When you are just dating him, be sure to pay attention to how your future half treats children. Does he easily release everything on the brakes? Does he discipline them too much? The fact that your potential partner requires excessive discipline from their children may be an indicator that he will treat your children the same way.
Be sure to talk about discipline. Or are you allowed to punish children? If so, to what extent. This question also depends on the age of the child. Most young children will respond much better than older children to punishment from a foster father. Decide in advance what his children will call you. They will call you mother, stepmother or by your first name.
Decide in advance what kind of participation in the child’s life you will have to take when he goes to school, to a circle or section, when he does his homework, etc.
Are these entirely your duties? Or is it your general responsibility? Will the ex-wife help? You don’t want to end up in a situation that doesn’t suit you, do you?
Every person needs time that he can spend only on himself. Everyone needs a little peace and quiet. Make sure you take care of this beforehand.
Make sure there are no double standards in your new home. A person should not accuse you of allowing your children too much, only to later quietly allow their own to do the same.
If your husband’s ex-wife is still involved in the children’s lives, be sure to talk to her. During the first few meetings, you should be able to understand if she can be a source of problems.
If it seems to you that your man is too attached to his ex-wife, if he considers it necessary to constantly see her, call, do something for her, etc. Think twice before marrying him. He may be emotionally connected to his ex-wife. This behavior differs from simple kindness and courtesy towards the former. To break these fetters, you can try to contact a consultant.