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Sometimes people quarrel, and there is nothing supernatural about it. We all have our own character, habits, tastes and outlook on life, therefore conflicts of interest are inevitable. Do you think quarrels can destroy the relationship of lovers and should be avoided? This is partly true, but, paradoxically, it is the showdown that can take your Lovestory to a new level of development. How is this possible? You just need to learn how to quarrel properly, and you will fully appreciate all the advantages of a reasonably built conflict.

Rules for correct quarrels

From personal experience, I can name the following beneficial consequences of quarrels:

Clarifying the relationship allows you to throw out the accumulated discontent, suppressed emotions and your opinion regarding the current situation or certain actions. 

Carefully concealed negative emotions poison the life together. Hiding emotions from a man, a woman thereby gives rise to dissonance – the partner feels the insincere attitude of the 2nd half, begins to lose confidence in her. It is much more honest to speak frankly, albeit in a raised tone, because truth is born in a dispute.

Stormy quarrels often end in no less violent bed reconciliation. This is because bright emotions, like firewood, reanimate the fading fire of passion. 

The quarrel is successful if it ends with thoughts: “How can we make peace?", Or with this very reconciliation, and not with thoughts about who is to blame and the desire to wait for the second half of the first to come to terms.

A constructively resolved conflict, as a rule, is replaced by a real idyll in a relationship – you want to please your partner – cook dinner, present a gift, please with high-quality sex.

At the same time, arguing that quarrels are useful, we must admit that only we ourselves can make them so. This is not so difficult, if you follow the following rules of a "good fight".

How to turn a fight in a positive direction

  • You should not start a quarrel while at the "boiling point". To begin with, soberly analyze the reasons for the accumulated discontent and decide what goals you would like to achieve by talking with your other half. Prepare for an argument by speaking your grievances and arguments out loud to help you deal with tension and anger. 
  • Try to choose a good time and place for a quarrel. Conflict in front of outsiders is not a good idea, usually such a showdown is much more difficult to complete with reconciliation.
  • Talk only about the main problem, not remembering old grievances. Try to communicate politely with your partner, you can even use humor (but not irony!). Be sure to pause in the conversation, allowing the opponent to speak. 
  • Psychologists advise not to play up, presenting claims to a partner. Speak all the critical moments, adequately perceiving reciprocal attacks. In no case do not strive at all costs to get out of the dispute as a winner, in the heat of a quarrel, trying to prick the interlocutor by mentioning his physical shortcomings, bad deeds and other things that are painful for him. It will be very difficult to restore mutual understanding after unfair insults. 
  • In the course of a showdown, try to remember how you value your soulmate and respect her. 

As you can see, it is not so difficult to quarrel properly. Even if you do not manage to completely solve the problem, guided by the rules of a reasonable quarrel, you will force your opponent to look for opportunities for this without offending him. So one can argue with the well-known folk proverb: the right “kind” quarrel, whatever one may say, is better than a “bad world”!

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