“I will reveal a terrible secret: disabled people have sex no less than “normal”
Freelancer Nina Smirnova has been in a wheelchair since childhood, but does not consider her life to be special. It has a place for interesting work, travel, and romantic relationships. During a broad discussion about whether people with disabilities should be given the right to paid sex, Nina wrote a post that went viral online. With the permission of Nina, we publish it in full.
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
Somewhere in a non-Our country, they are discussing whether every disabled person should be provided with a prostitute – and in my feed, all this is vigorously discussed. Now I’m going to write something amazing. I will reveal a terrible secret. Disabled people have sex. And they need a free prostitute no more than healthy ones.
"Who’s going to look at these?!" – Yes?
… I was 15 years old. I met a man on the Internet who was interested in whether my legs were completely paralyzed or not. I didn’t understand why he needed this information. He explained: “You are already a big girl, you know that men have o_sh_u_shch_e_n_i_ya." No, I didn’t know, but I didn’t show it – I’m big. The man wanted to come when his parents were not at home.
I still remember: it was curious, it was scary – and I wanted to meet in order to prove to mom and dad that they could still “covet” me. Fortunately, fear outweighed, and I no longer communicated with this person.
I got older and even though I’m not a top model at all, there were other offers, not only from those who love the paralyzed / legless. They appeared precisely because the majority believes that sex is not available to disabled people. Older men wrote: “Are you a virgin? I have never had them, I want to try. Comrades with spermotoxicosis wrote: a “normal” girl needs to be persuaded for a long time, and a disabled person will definitely agree, because they are always unsatisfied. They wrote virgins who wanted to lose their innocence, but did not know with whom. Written by other disabled people.
So not with me alone – with all my "special" acquaintances. It is easier for girls with disabilities to find a sexual partner than for men (everything is the same as for “healthy” ones); it is more difficult for men, but not impossible (and in the "Golden Temple" Yukio Mishima shows this well). Therefore, most of those whose conscience allows them to use the services of prostitutes can find sex on their own.
This leads to the fact that a disabled teenager either proves the opposite (I wanted to), or resigns himself to the situation, but when an offer of a sexual nature arrives, he cannot refuse, because he is sure that this is the only opportunity to know physical love. In addition, there are perverts for whom parents do not prepare "special" children to meet.
(I know that mothers of girls with disabilities read me. Please talk to your daughter “about this” in the same way as you would with a healthy one! Do not think that she will never have anything – no matter how hard it is for you to believe, most likely, it will be.
I repeat: disabled people can have sex, even those who do not leave the house – if their conscience, upbringing, etc. allow it. And such sex, without feelings, just an animal, they have no less than the "normal".
But what is really not enough is sex for love. But here prostitutes will not help. Because it’s not about sex, it’s about love.
Yes, people with disabilities are loved (they don’t pity them, don’t patronize them, don’t admire them – they love them) less often than “ordinary” ones. But no law can fix this. It’s just like that.
PS And in order to achieve complete equality, you need to introduce pink coupons and the right to curtains – there is no other way. (Zamiatin, "We", dystopia – those who received sex coupons could draw the curtains.)