10 EMOTIONAL STAGES OF DIVORCE
As with death, people go through emotional stages during a divorce. Most of these steps apply to the person who did not initiate the divorce, although some of them apply even to the person who initiates. Depending on the person, everyone can skip stages in their own way, get stuck in some, or move on. These milestones will give you an idea of where you are and where you want to go so you can be happy again.
Pain arises when you first hear from your spouse, words about wanting a divorce. The pain can be so great that sometimes it may seem that you will not survive it. Pain is an emotion we use to send a message to our spouse about how devastated we really are.
Grief – sometimes after the pain there will be anger and resentment. Usually a woman accuses her husband of not being who she wanted him to be. At the stage of grief, a woman may decide to take revenge.
3 Recklessness, madness
Madness comes when you realize that your spouse is serious and really wants a divorce. You focus all your energy on getting him to change his mind. At this stage, you can alternate between rage and tenderness.
The disappointment begins when you finally realize that nothing can be changed. This divorce will happen whether you want it or not. You’ve tried everything in your arsenal to get your spouse to change their mind, but you realize there’s nothing more you can do.
Hope is the stage when you build your resolve and start exploring your options, you realize that there is hope. Others have moved on from divorce, and so have you. You begin to see light at the end of your long dark tunnel.
Happiness – comes when you know that there are some positives in this divorce. There was probably a lesson or a gift in this process. Well, what did you learn now and not later? Happiness comes when you can see the positive side of the experience.
Harmony is a stage to which, unfortunately, not everyone gets. At the balanced stage, you understand and accept everything life has to offer. You understand that nothing is "good" or "bad". Everything has an equal balance of positivity and negativity. How you experience it simply depends on where you focus your attention. In the balanced stage, you are not afraid of anything. You know you can win in any situation. You accept all life as it is.