FAILURE FIRST TIME

What to do if there is no sex for a long time

Recovering from a failed relationship, or being in a long and so far unsuccessful search for love, we may be left without sex for a while. For some, the deprivation of “sweets is experienced very painfully, while others prefer not to dwell on it, filling their free time with work and meetings with friends. Meanwhile, we forget (or don’t know) that sex is not just a way to satisfy physical needs, but also the best cure for life’s hardships and emotional wounds. Having revealed sexually, a person will experience the absence of sexual relations extremely hard. And even if you don’t notice that you “go crazy" without sex, over time, the consequences of its long-term absence will be indicated in one way or another:
due to the cessation of the massage of the female internal organs during lovemaking, their dysfunction is manifested. Over time, it can contribute to the formation of neoplasms in the uterine cavity.

PMS becomes more pronounced, the menstruation itself becomes more painful.

A faithful companion of a woman who goes without sex for a very long time becomes sudden mood swings, which for some can develop into prolonged depression and apathy for life. Resilience to stress decreases, fatigue increases.

As scientists have proven, there is no substitute for the beneficial effect that an orgasm has on the human body. In addition to dizzying pleasure, reaching the peak, men and women are faced with the following:

• The heartbeat quickens, due to which the lungs are ventilated and the cardiovascular system is strengthened;
• Endorphins, released into the blood, relieve stress, healing the nervous system;
• Hormones released at the time of orgasm have a beneficial effect on the skin, making us younger and more attractive.

How to compensate for the lack of sex in your life?

I will not advise you to go and, taking the first guy that comes across in an armful, drag him “to the hayloft”, since this method is suitable only for very few young ladies who do not bother about morality. Instead, I can suggest 3 possible ways to compensate for long abstinence.

1 Let’s say you don’t feel like you need sex badly. You may not be able to do without it for very long. Then the next way is for you: since the absence of sexual relations releases a lot of time and unspent energy, it is necessary to apply them competently.

Active mental and physical activity will become a kind of outlet, as well as self-improvement classes – fitness and self-care! There will be no time for the blues, you will be transformed, and I bet that the one and only will be drawn in your life!

2 For both men and women, the easiest way to compensate for lack of sex is through masturbation. What kind of self-satisfaction you choose – manual stimulation of the external genital organs, fun with toys from a sex shop or something else – is not important. The main thing is to get the discharge, which is so lacking for a woman who has been without sex for a long time.

3 And finally, the 3rd way – the most natural and obvious – to start an active search for a lover (and a potential sexual partner in a suitable person) on dating sites, discos and other places. New relationships will bring regular sex back into your life, and the world will shine with bright colors again!

Bad first time

You have been dating a guy for a long time or not, which you like more and more every day. And now your relationship is moving to a new level – you spontaneously or planned to arrange the first "date" in bed. In anticipation of it, you drew yourself hot pictures of your love "battles", but in reality everything turned out to be completely different from what you wanted. According to statistics, in 50% of couples, the first sexual contact with a new partner often turns out to be unsuccessful to one degree or another, which sometimes does not have the best effect on nascent love, or even becomes a point in the relationship. Where do such failures come from and what to do if the first time “failed”?

First of all, I would like to dwell on the most common problems of the first night that worsen the quality of sex:

• love intercourse is crumpled, fast, and sometimes rude, as a result of which a woman is disappointed in an inept partner. Dissimilarity of temperaments usually sobers up from romantic intoxication;
• in sex we show our true nature, and in communication a gentleman can turn into a rude primitive male in bed, and a sexy blonde with plump lips into a passive "log";
• our sexual habits, which were liked by the former partner, are not always to the liking of the new one. Excessive haste and unwillingness to listen to the words and non-verbal "signals" of the partner do not allow to merge in ecstasy;
• ostentatious emancipation, as well as excessive tightness, make sex somewhat unnatural, and it’s hard not to feel it;
• sometimes sex does not work for physiological reasons. After a long abstinence, a man may have erection problems, or he may ejaculate too quickly when you are barely "warmed up";
• Another common cause of not too successful sexual contact is phobias and fears – for example, the fear of contracting an STD or getting pregnant from a new partner.

Of course, these are far from all the reasons that worsen the quality of “introductory” sex, but most of them can be eliminated if, without being led by spontaneity and passion, you talk in advance with a guy about what you want, how and where, along the way learning the same with him. Do not be afraid to guide your beloved on the “right” path, follow his reactions and requests, forget about sex with your ex and advice in smart books, just trust your intuition.

How to Minimize the Negative Consequences of a Bad First Time

In fact, an unsuccessful first sex puts an end to relationships quite rarely. The vast majority of couples try not to dwell on it. So if your first sexual experience with a guy cannot be called successful, you can simply “score” on him and build relationships further. Over time, what you didn’t like in the first sex can be corrected in most cases.

So, sexologists say that in the bulk of women begin to get an orgasm with a new partner only for the 10th time. You just need to get used to each other, study mutual sexual preferences, learn to feel the changing desires. Through trial, error and experimentation, people achieve harmony in their sexual life.

What you definitely should not do is to criticize your partner, shifting the blame for unsuccessful sex on him. Better cheer up the poor fellow, who probably tried so hard to please you, but did not do enough (or overdid it), and give him a second chance to make you happy.

If you can’t get over the negative impression of sex, or it was a casual relationship, try to move away from what happened. Take it as an experience that should remain in the past, and in no way interfere with your new relationship.