Nothing is so valuable and so cheap as courtesy
These words of the famous Spanish writer Cervantes are often quoted in numerous books on ethics and etiquette. Like the words of the American philosopher Emerson: “Politeness is the sum of small sacrifices that we bring to the people around us." The price of "victims" is really minimal. This is sincere friendliness, timely expressed words of apology or gratitude, the ability to listen and yield. Behind any manifestation of politeness, this style of behavior desired by all, is benevolence towards people.
From life practice, we know that politeness of politeness is different. Another insincere smile on duty repels, and an unfriendly outstretched hand does not please. “Cold politeness”, “icy politeness”, “polite rudeness” – these expressions are alive. Just like their reflections in real life. True politeness always pleases the soul with kindness and disinterestedness. She is bright and pleasant. It is inherent in a decent person organically, because his noble deeds in any situation stem from high moral principles.
There are many rules of etiquette in the world, and some of them are really formal. It is a sign of courtesy in Spain to invite a guest to stay for breakfast, but even after a second invitation, it is accepted with gratitude for this courtesy to refuse it. And only the third invitation can testify to the true intention to communicate with the guest.
In Portugal, it will be considered impolite to call on personal matters before 11 am. In Holland, they don’t see much courtesy in shaking hands. In Belgium, demonstrative display of excellent appetite when eating is considered a courtesy. Thus, the idea of some attributes of politeness in different peoples may be different. In its main role, politeness is a stable moral and behavioral category and an unconditionally positive trait of human character. To be polite means to treat people with respect, to be tactful, always ready to help in simple everyday situations, to find a reasonable compromise in case of some everyday disagreements.
A person who is in harmony with the rules of good manners will be a model in observing the norms of speech etiquette. This is where politeness really costs very little, just use the magic words “thank you”, “please”, “be kind”, “be kind”, “excuse me”, “excuse me”, “is it difficult for you”, “could you advise ".
Respectfully addressing strangers and elders only with “you” is the norm for a polite person. On "you" he will turn to his friend if he meets him in an official setting. The transition to "you" will be acceptable for only in close relationships and in communication with those younger in age.
It should be noted that the polite formulas of speech etiquette have different shades depending on each specific situation, the subject of the dialogue. So, a formal request can be politely expressed with the words "allow me" or "allow me", but always with an explanation of the essence of the request ("allow me to call").
In benevolent communication, certain formulas, verbal turns are used, helping to mitigate the negative aspects in the positions of the interlocutors. These are, for example, simple comments such as “there was one small problem”, “I’m not very good at this”, “we had a little argument here”, etc.
It smooths out sharp corners, categoricalness, rigidity in dialogue, the ability to use interrogative expressions instead of statements (“You were at the X cinema, weren’t you?”). It is better to use negative phrases instead of direct questions ("Have you reached the bus stop yet?"). A polite person will also soften the demand with an interrogative form: not “give me a jacket”, but “could you give me a jacket?”.
Whether a person is polite or not can be determined by many actions. A well-mannered person will always be in the habit of thinking about the interests of others. Such a person will never occupy with his elbows the common adjacent armrests in the cinema hall and unceremoniously block the exhibit at the exhibition from the eyes of others. He will not allow himself to buy a ticket without a queue or squeeze into a bus, roughly pushing another passenger.
Whatever aspect of communication is touched upon, the indicators of politeness will be the manifestation of goodwill, tact, delicacy and attentiveness towards others.