Scream in the office: causes and methods of struggle
If nature has already endowed us with the ability to scream, yell, bawl and tear our throats, then this is necessary for something. For example, in order to signal a danger. Or talk to your grandmother who lost her hearing aid. Or convey information to a person on the other side of the river. But in order to communicate in a raised voice with colleagues? There are at least six ways to effectively combat this phenomenon.
But first, it doesn’t hurt to understand its causes. What makes your boss scream when setting a production goal? And how to explain the inability of the employee to convey his idea in a calm tone? Finally, why do we ourselves sometimes resort to this dubious way of exchanging information?
It is not uncommon to switch to raised tones in a conversation with a person’s interlocutor, which makes a person want to attract attention to himself, to be heard, plus his desire to show that he is working “for wear and tear". But the paradox lies precisely in the fact that shouting very conditionally helps to convey one’s opinion to the ears of a colleague. According to all psychological laws, it is only necessary to increase the degree of volume in a conversation, as the interlocutor turns on the mechanism of rejection – formally, he may hear the words addressed to him, but in fact they sound, bypassing his consciousness. However, there are exceptions to any rule. Sometimes the cry plays the role of a “stimulating kick”, helping to get out of the stupor and start acting.
The second reason why interlocutors switch to raised voices is the lack of arguments. As a rule, this is coupled with an off-scale level of emotions. But a colleague who has nothing to cover in a dispute, breaking into a cry, has the goal of not only convincing you. Psychologists say that shouting as an argument in a discussion is also the easiest way to release emotional tension. However, this method of relieving stress only works in one direction – it becomes easier for a colleague, but the opposite is true for a counterpart.
The third reason forcing employees to communicate with each other by shouting is a lack of self-confidence. Those in power often sin with this – if your boss allows himself to communicate with you in a raised voice, be sure that he is simply afraid that you doubt his competence, and with the help of a cry he tries to assert his status. Screaming bosses are under the illusion that the higher the decibels, the better the self-doubt is masked.
So how do you deal with people who are not averse to screaming, thereby worsening the microclimate in the office? Try the following steps:
1 Glass method
Imagine yourself surrounded by thick energy-tight glass (in a glass) – the sound waves that carry the negative are reflected from the glass without touching you.
2 Balloon method
Another classic way to not take a boss yell to heart is to imagine the boss in a clown outfit with a bunch of balloons in his hand. Let him rage as much as he likes – he will not cause anything but laughter in you. (These two methods are good because, without receiving fuel in the form of your emotional reaction, the screamer quickly loses his fuse).
3 The Buddha Method
Sometimes it is enough to say to the "thunderer" a phrase like "You are absolutely right", as the storm subsides in a matter of minutes. The question, “Has anyone offended you?” has the same effect.
4 Empathic listening method
Emotionally supporting a screaming person, that is, simply “assenting” to him, you can also quickly calm him down.
5 Transfer method
An effective way to neutralize a screamer is to direct his energy in a constructive way. For example, an employee who chronically switches to raised voices should be optimally assigned to be responsible for communicating with clients with whom “it’s impossible without shouting.”
6 Change angle method
If curbing the screaming is not possible, just try to change your attitude towards him. Aggression and rudeness of the boss can be seen as a kind of hardening and training before a new career step.
Finally, the last and main advice to those who can be classified as not the most balanced. Psychologists say that the most important thing is to catch the moment of approaching the boiling point in time in order to pause communication. If this fails, then it is equally important to realize your wrong and apologize. If this turned out to be beyond the power, then experts recommend switching to electronic communication for some time – the need not to pronounce, but to type your own words allows you to think and analyze them.
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